September 23, 2023

Once more, many times - stranded, cold and redeemed

The germination of a possibility, a possibility to be anything. The outline is strong. The subtle twitches and the gentle movements catapulted the heart from joy to bliss. Smiles spread and there was a shower of blessings. Blessings so strong that will keep the seed protected at all costs. These blessings have insatiable energy and can even make the Gods yield. 

Days went by. Weeks went by. The first few seasons. Outline emerged even stronger. And then there was a lull. A lull so powerful that it was just collecting all the energy in the world, quietly. The sun was sending its best rays over. Air was getting cooler. The rains didn’t torment, but helped just enough. It was a perfect backdrop to break open the shell. And then it emerged.

A dollop of bliss. Still spreading bliss and smiles to those who were miles away. The cosmos was acting in unison to bring the bliss from every patchwork. No facade could hide the smiles. The intense few days. 

And then the months of heightened bliss. The idea of impermanence was forgotten. What does Impermanence mean when one has so much bliss! Equanimity was an alien concept, and a practice that could be frowned upon for your smiles would even make a parched land come back to life. This high was unlike any other, nothing to compete or to be compared.

Months went by. Years went by. Possibilities are endless when the mind has no boundaries, for it is the mind that also creates the boundaries. But, what could have happened of you! So many stories to be shared, retold, celebrated, learnt, and cried with. The blessings still pour endlessly, for what is Life if not to see those around you smile.

No outwardly celebrations. No fake piety. No lamps. No candles. No labels. But unadulterated pure passion inside a beating heart that yearns and waits….every single moment for the past 10 years!

January 15, 2022

Gentle turn of the wrists

After a brief stop for a chai break, the tarmac gave way to sinewy roads that were lathed with tamarind trees on either side. The march past was only broken by bland stretches with no potholes or speed bumps for kilometers sometimes. The four-lane road transformed into one lane serendipity, with the most feminine curves. The earplugs were still hard-pressed and muffled most of the noises. The constant thump from the exhaust deafens the best of the ears in the long run. Moving the jaw slightly made the silent whoosh that could hardly escape the mind's attention. The snug fit helmet though was protecting Kabir’s cranium, wasn't able to do much to contain the thoughts going berserk. The tamarind trees on either side of the road whizzed and woozed. 


This ride will be forgotten soon, just like the way you don't remember your last breakfast overlooking the snow-laden peaks. The countless maggies that were absorbed into the bloodstream. Impermanence presents itself in new ways but is always around you and in you. The morning sun will peak into the afternoon sun which will torch the greenery around in the approaching months.


As the rubber continued its spin, Kabir sat there thinking how these trunked beings kept the World moving. The rest of the mortals were engrossed in their own colorful lives. Monochrome levels the playing field only on a certain vector, with the rest remaining relatively unchanged. The unseen can only be hypothesized with relative certainty. The uncertainty infuses a romance that keeps the adrenaline going. What appeared as needles, was the fabric that knit the thoughts. The blades didn't rotate, but the wind was not strong enough to gravitate the thoughts into a whole.


Kabir’s jacket's zip had snapped by now. He was not sure if it was due to the joy that could not be contained within or due to the centripetal forces that had to be countered over the numerous curves. The breeze, rather the wind had taken the shape of the body and was experiencing the engine's vibrations. The odometer read a constant eighty-two, and the wrist slowly opened up the throttle to take one last jibe at the highway before it finally gave way to the last turn where the salty air could not only be felt but also be seen. With the sun to the left and the water to the right, this wasn't the setup to open the throttle. The wind ambled through the open beach promenade and slowed the heartbeat. There was a war raging between the morning mist and the saline vapors, but the two-tonne machine kept on its gait and moved on.


January 01, 2022

The Paid Kitchen

He went in search of a quote that would be the fulcrum of the ensuing story. Search surfing led him to Airbnb wherein he stumbled on a listing that advertised the verdant expanse that overlooked the balcony, in Bangalore. Soak the sun, bathe to glory, or rather bathe in glory? 

Time travel is not an option when memories from distant lands often form a beautiful inlay that could rival the best tiles from Seville. Nature has its way of advertising - be it the oranges that were dangling strong in the streets of Seville or the apples of Kinnaur that were just a pluck away from the bus window or the massage girls of Phuket.  

He was still reminiscing the hummingbirds from David Attenborough, wherein the epithet ‘ jeweled messengers’ suited more than the best of the metaphors that any of the authors could bequeath.  A few years ago, Kabir had spent a week of the quintessential late summer in the Palo Alto hills in California. Waking up to hummingbirds while he had the fresh yogurt and strawberries for brekkie, yes that’s what Ozzies call breakfast! 

What goes in is what makes a person, was the age-old adage. Food was always communal. People fought and bonded over a meal, be it the hunter-gatherer or the Influencers who have all the time in the world to take that perfect picture that could salivate all. Most extremes are always continuums and are a step away from each other. Bend a strip of paper and it becomes a halo. 

Hundred rupees for a day to use the kitchen, said the Host of the Airbnb listing. ‘Yes, we do have a coveted space’, ‘covered’ she corrected. Eager to host.

January 08, 2021

Role of a Flower

Born from a teething smile,
Unserendipitious elements working in tandem,
Unperturbed by the glances of the present or past,
Attracting the living for the limitless,
Questions ever so gently answered,
An unceremonious end to thy self,
And then the bud becomes the bloom.

February 19, 2018

Losing my Identity

I type this as I fly above the Tyrrhenian sea, between Naples(Italy) & Porto(Portugal). The blueness of the skies and the ocean below are only separated by the thin clouds that are in suspended animation. The horizon is almost non-existent. The perfect uniformity outside the airplane is only broken by the mental reverberations and gyrations that causes it's own mini typhoons. 
   

Why does karma always work? All fame, riches or relationships that have been gained by the wrong means is always lost. Not once has ever anyone lived to see the personal zenith one would aspire to with such means. As an engineer, and more importantly as a rational person, this is beyond my cognition or reasoning. The non-quantitative aspects of such an unscientific phenomenon are beyond the scientific rigour of any laboratory.


Karma, beyond religions, has always worked; constantly churning it’s own predicaments and influencing life. Karma doesn't see gender, age or economic status but affects one and all. Despite all this humans go down paths or prefer choices that are detrimental to their own well-being or their loved ones.



Can a choice that looks right in the short term, be wrong in the long term? Does that mean that morality is based on the time window that it operates on? 



But what's right and what's wrong? Things look right or wrong only in retrospect. Laws cannot define such a clear boundary. Laws change as societies change. What was illegal a few years back will be legal in no time. So, laws do not give us the best scale for personal laws, nor do they establish the right precedence for morality. What is morality?



Why morality? Why does a society need moral laws? Why should kids be taught morals when they are in school? Does morality also change with the passage of time? A kid who has grown with thieves and cheats will know nothing else but to steal and cheat. In that case, there is no blame on the child but that of the context that the child grew under.  The apocryphal laws only disappoint me.


A man attaches himself to something only when he feels that the object under consideration is going to satisfy him and is going to fulfil his ambitions and dreams. According to him, this will lead him to his goal and will help him realize all his wants and desires; and probably the ability to differentiate between the two. He also perceives his association with an object as a means of furthering his own interests.


The belief that we possess the necessary intellectual wherewithal and the continuous commitment and efforts that he/she puts forth towards achieving the same is one of the fundamental powers that we human beings have.

December 12, 2016

Playing to Lose

Right from Swordfish wherein Gabriel(Johan Travolta) laments the lack of realism in portraying villains in movies to Rochester(Johnny Depp), in the Libertine, commencing the movie with his monologue and bluntly stating that he is  not a likeable character; why do certain characters stand out from the ordinary.

Why is it that all games have to have winners and losers? Why is winning important? Why is surviving/survival critical? Why do the primordial instincts kick in? Why do we float? 

What if you start playing to lose, just so that you get to see the other side win. You just want to watch your opponent win and beam with joy while you bask in your so called 'sacrifice'. Why has it to be a sacrifice? Letting the other win is a joyful thing, but goes against the tenets of the basic game theory. Leaving aside cooperative games, why is winning always celebrated; the limelight is far away from the losers.

What if you play to lose. What if you play to just understand the game and its different outcomes, and winning or losing was just part of it.
That is it. That is my prologue, nothing in rhyme, no protestations of modesty, you were not expecting that I hope. 

May 19, 2016

Love and Fear


Niccolò Machiavelli, in his seminal 'The Prince', CHAPTER XVII : "Concerning Cruelty And Clemency, And Whether It Is Better To Be Loved Than Feared" writes:
Upon this a question arises: whether it be better to be loved than feared or feared than loved? It may be answered that one should wish to be both, but, because it is difficult to unite them in one person, is much safer to be feared than loved, when, of the two, either must be dispensed with.  Because this is to be asserted in general of men, that they are ungrateful, fickle, false, cowardly, covetous, and as long as you succeed they are yours entirely; they will offer you their blood, property, life and children, as is said above, when the need is far distant; but when it approaches they turn against you.  And that prince who, relying entirely on their promises, has neglected other precautions, is ruined; because friendships that are obtained by payments, and not by greatness or nobility of mind, may indeed be earned, but they are not secured, and in time of need cannot be relied upon; and men have less scruple in offending one who is beloved than one who is feared, for love is preserved by the link of obligation which, owing to the baseness of men, is broken at every opportunity for their advantage; but fear preserves you by a dread of punishment which never fails.

[Sidenote: the book did not actually have a title when it was written by Machiavelli]

In Economics, we call this as a Matching Market. Love belongs to the Matching Market whereas Fear is not. In a Matching Market, there is a willingness to sell a service or good by a Seller, and a willingness on the side of the Buyer to buy the service or the good at the said terms. The transaction does not happen otherwise. Organ Trades, and others are examples of such Matching Markets.

Other examples of matching markets include Jobs, Organ Transplants, Room Allocations, Marriages, Loans etc.

In Love, this commonality of needs or wants is necessary. But Fear is a one way street. Fear is inculcated by the Perpetrator onto the victim. It can so happen that Victim need not fear the actions by the Perpetrator, and hence this equation is purely based on the magnitude of the actions by the Perpetrator. Fear is also a perception and is determinant on the Perceiver; what can be otherwise 'normal' actions by a do-er can cause fear in the minds of the Receiver/Victim.

But both Love and Fear, suffer from a serious handicap. Handicap of Impermanence; that is, the feeling of Love and Fear is temporary and can either fade or strengthen with the passage of time. You might Love something today, and something else tomorrow. Fear is similar; what you are afraid of today, need not make you cringe in fear the day after. Impermanence is a beautiful concept and is the underlying theory that causes more trouble in the hearts of Humans. We abhor Impermanence as we do not understand it. We are never taught of Impermanence in our education and hence most of Humanity(especially the Western World) fears Death.

In Bhaja Govindam, this is stated beautifully:
ma kuru dhana, jana , youvana garvam;
harathi nimeshat kalat sarvam
Do not be proud of your wealth, relationships or youth. Time can snatch them away from you in no time.

March 14, 2016

Book Review : When to Rob a Bank: A Rogue Economist's Guide to the World

When to Rob a Bank: A Rogue Economist's Guide to the World By Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner

(This story was published in BW | BusinessWorld Issue Dated 19-Oct-2015)

Why things are the way they are?

The economist-journalist duo is back and they have packed their multiple punches that they delivered over the last few years of blogposts into this wonderful compendium, quirky titled 'When to Rob a Bank'. The authors have bucketed their blogposts from their hugely famous ‘Freakonomics’ blog into 12 chapters with each chapter maintaining its own distinctive theme.

Have you ever wondered social costs of mediocrity? Did you know that most books can be bucketed into 7-template theories? Or what would be your
modus-operandi if you were a terrorist? Or did you know that there is load of behavioral-science hidden behind designing menus? These and many other mundane observations from the real-world are dissected by the author duo and the evidences are broken down in an unconventional manner and woven into a story thereby stimulating the reader.

The book is another freakingly fantastic read from the author’s stables after their hugely successful earlier titles : “Think like a Freak”, “Freakonomics” and “SuperFreakonomics”. Stephen J. Dubner is the journalist while behavioral-economic thinking is brought to the table by Steven D. Levitt. The author-duo truly demonstrates ‘out-of-the-box’ thinking and the thought-patterns after reading the book would truly leave an indelible mark on the reader.

The duo's casual, personal and opinionated style of writing is a treat for any ardent reader and more so if you are a behavioral economist. The biggest win of the authors is their brilliant and captivating storytelling which makes the reader think beyond the norm and present to him some facets that the reader would not have otherwise thought about. So, the next time when you do not tip the air-hostess or catch someone lying or cheating, you can reason beyond the norms of morals and ethics and also think about the economics of the act that drives many of the decisions.

An enthusiastic reader of the Freakonomics blog can probably complain that the blogposts are already available for free on the public domain, but the artful curation of the blogposts into themed chapters makes the book a salivating read. But the complaint that many authors are resorting to publishing their blogposts into books is a valid complaint coming from the web-savvy.


February 19, 2016

What's in my Backpack?

I moved from a Quechua Forclaz 70L backpack to a a 38L backpack. I got the new backpack in Nepal, which I I did (totally impromptu trip) in late 2014. It is a fake NorthFace-logo'ed backpack that has backsupport as well; bought it for 1000 Nepalese Rupee(i.e, 1600 Indian Rupee or 24USD). There is a gap between the back-support and my spine which prevents the back of the backpack from getting wet due to perspiration. It also has a rain cover that sits folded at the bottom of the pack. The backpack works wonders anywhere from a 10-day to a 45-day trip.

So, What does the new backpack contain in a typical month long trip?

- 5-7 Quick Dry T-Shirts
- 2 Quick Dry Trousers/Pants(1 of them being detachable)
- 2 Quick Dry Shorts(that also double up as swimming trunks)
- 1 Quick Dry Foldable Cap
- 3-4 Underwears
- 1 Thin Towel(indian-style)
- 1 Sunglass
- Arpenaz 15 Ultralight Backpack - used for day trips and walks.
- Phone Charger
- Universal Adaptor
- Small pouch for medicines(tablets for loose-motion/Diarrhea/vomiting/headache/fever, lozenges for soar-throat, band-aid, gauze)
- Pouch containing - Washing soap, Mosquito Repellant cream, Sun-screen cream, 1 shaving razor, tissues, toothbrush, toopaste.
- Pouch containing - mint, chocolates, chewing gum
- Pouch containing - 1 head-phone, 1 rechargeable mechanical torch, few clips
- 1 carabiner+2 locks+keys
- Passport + Photos + 2 Pens + Few copies of passport and identity-proofs.



The total weight of the above is around 7kgs(or less) - perfect for flight cabins. Around 30% of the backpack remains empty with the above packed well - and this space is used to keep fruits and snacks bought locally. The Arpenaz 15 Ultralight Backpack folds to a fist size ball and works well for walks and day-trips when you want to carry the bare minimum. The backpack has 1 main compartment, 2 smaller ones which holds the smaller items. Other than this there are 2 side pockets and small pockets along the waist band.

The Quick Dry apparels have been the best investment, as it has reduced my load by a significant factor. Also, I can wash clothes every few days and wear them fresh. Haven't travelled or trekked in shoes for a long time now; but I think I will invest in a good pair of shoes that are easy to wear and is all-weather. I have stopped carrying camera(no more DSLR or point and shoot) for more than a year now, but carry my mobile. Am thinking of ditching my mobile also in the future. All clothes are packed in plastic covers so that they can withstand heavy rains. I carry a jacket on a need basis. I do not carry a swiss-army knife(though would love to) as it is not allowed in flights. I buy water-bottle locally and refill it whenever and wherever possible; I might change this in the future and move to a flask. I am also thinking of carrying an inflatable pillow henceforth, so that I can sleep anywhere without straining my neck. I am using a big plastic sheet as a poncho for now, but need to buy something more rugged.

I need to buy papersoap, a headlamp ... And a good automatic sports wrist watch that can withstand atleast 18m depth. I suspect a snorkeling gear will soon join forces later this year(unless i learn free-diving!), depending on where the vacation is. Washing the backpack after every sojourn keeps it grease and dirt free and the zippers remain operational. Understanding the different clips and straps in your backpack helps especially when you least expect it. I had discounted a few straps earlier on, but when I realized their use, I could compress my backpack further and reduce it's thickness. One needs to be in a relationship with their backpack(NOTE!!!); so comfortable with its design that you can operate it even when its utter dark.

So .... now I can avoid airport checkin luggage altogether and do not have to throw in my backpack in some corner of the bus or truck; it always stays with me. Am more mobile and agile with this setup and can move into and out from any place in matter of no time. The bag fits into most lockers at the dormitories as well. And a slew of other benefits!!

I do not think the current backpack will last more than a year or two with frequent travels; the next one would be the same class of backpack with similar capacity and size, albeit of a much better quality. Changing backpacks is not easy, especially when you have a name for your backpack!!! I call mine as 'Karma' (no intended puns!).

So, why this post? Well, I realized how much 'stuff' we always carry with us. 'Stuff' that just occupy space and are worthless. By letting go and carrying the most basic 'things', we not only have a lighter backpack but also gain from the other benefits. I do not buy 'stuff' during travels; if at all, I buy anything, it has been postcards and fridge magnets which sit easily inside the backpack, in the corners.

The important thing while choosing what to pack is to remember and understand your priorities first. What works for you, works for you alone. All the other blog posts(like this one) are just sharing their own details and can reveal a lot about the person's travel style.


If the backpack were set on fire, I will not be in a hurry to get anything out.....err..wait..I will run to get my passport out! But only the passport, and that too if I am in a foreign country.

Everything else is a copy of a copy of a copy.